“I’m g-g-g-g-gettin’ bi. I’m gettin’ bi and it’s something I’d like to demystify. It’s not a phase; I’m not confused; Not indecisive; I don’t have the “gotta choose” blues. I don’t care if you wear high heels or a tie, you might just catch my eye. Because I’m definitely bi.” – “Gettin’ Bi” from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.
Today, September 23, 2017, is Bi Visibility day. Last year on this day I remember spending time thinking about who I was. I was still in the closet then. Scared to come out. It wasn’t necessarily that I was afraid of rejection by people I loved and respected but I think I was afraid of being my authentic self. To be our authentic selves requires vulnerability and I wasn’t quite ready to be that kind of vulnerable with myself and others. At the same time, I was sensing an urgency to embrace my identity as a bisexual male. 2 1/2 months later I came out and finally did just that and every day since, I have experienced gratitude for being free of that aspect of my hidden, false self.
This past Labor Day Weekend I attended the GALA Retreat at Camp Red Cliffe in Hunstville, Utah. GALA is an organization whose mission seeks to “Providing sanctuary, spirituality, and transformation: For persons of ALL sexual orientations and gender identities through our shared faith experience in Community of Christ building bridges of understanding”. In the months leading up to the retreat I experienced a wide range of emotions. I went from being excited and couldn’t wait for it to arrive to feeling nervous about the experience and almost canceling my registration, to being excited and filled with anticipation again and so on. Additionally, I also struggled with the retreat theme of “Blessed are the Queer in Spirit” which hindered my anticipation for the event. In fact, the only reason I followed through with attending was that I was traveling to and from the retreat with a friend and didn’t want to cancel on her. I did follow through though and attend the retreat and I was blessed. Continue reading